


the cat burglar

by happyrobins



Series: baby!Damian AU [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Baby!Damian AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:44:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1555619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyrobins/pseuds/happyrobins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[from a prompt on tumblr] "I know Selina has popped up once or twice in your baby!Damian verse, and I was just wondering if you would write a fic about their first meeting."</p>
            </blockquote>





	the cat burglar

The mansion is dark, silent, and filled with expensive goodies. Selina’s favourite combination. 

Longingly, she lingers in front of a very old, very delicate vase in one of the sitting rooms—she  _knows_  what it’ll be worth to collectors—but decides to move on. It’s too likely to break during her getaway, and she has her eyes on bigger prizes.

This is Bruce Wayne’s house. Selina’s been planning this heist for ages, searching for the loopholes in his tight security, and she needs to milk the opportunity for all it’s worth. She’s looking for hidden safes and locked drawers full of cash and jewels. Maybe a juicy, dirty secret or two. Those can be more valuable than gold.

Wayne and his newest adopted brat are out mingling with half of Gotham’s elite at a big fundraising gala downtown. They’ll be gone for hours. All Selina has to worry about is the butler, and he’s old. His hearing’s probably going.

In what seems to be Wayne’s study there’s a grandfather clock that piques her interest. Something about the ticking seems… off. And it won’t be the first grandfather clock she’s encountered in her career that’s harboured a hidden safe. She’s just about to examine it more closely when she hears something behind her.

Selina turns, expecting to see an angry butler with a gun. Instead she finds a boy in patterned footie pajamas, clutching a ragged stuffed cat. He can’t be older than two. Wayne’s son. 

Selina wants to curse, but she bites her tongue for the sake of the kid. This… situation hasn’t happened to her before and she has no idea how to deal with it besides staring, stunned. He’s supposed to be in  _bed_. He could ruin everything.

He’s the demon child the tabloids are always going on about, the unruly little terror that’s so infamous for his screaming tantrums and for biting people that Wayne hardly takes him out in public anymore.

Selina has no idea how he managed to sneak up on her.

“Kitty,” he says, pointing up at her cat-eared hood. “ _Kitty_.” He reaches his arms towards her demandingly, waiting for her to pick him up.

She hesitates. The boy has a reputation—holding him is risking getting bitten. But, judging by the needy whimpers he’s starting to make,  _not_  holding him risks setting him off in an angry tantrum. 

A crying child is worse than a security alarm, so Selina kneels down obligingly and picks him up, stuffed animal and all. He pats her on the side of her face with a small sticky hand, like he’s petting a cat.

“Meow,” she says quietly, in her best impression. It earns her a smile from the kid.

“Kitty,” he repeats, yawning and wriggling in her arms to cuddle against her more comfortably. The pattern on his pajamas is of little birds, she notices. Cute, like him.

His eyes begin to close. Selina smiles and strokes his dark hair. He’s a pretty sweet little tyke. Who knew? 

“Let’s get you back to bed, kitten.”

She finds his bedroom not too far away, and has to sneak extra quietly because she knows the butler’s room must be close by. As she places the half-asleep boy back in his crib she notices how high the bars on the side are—there’s no way he should have been able to climb out.

“You’re an impressive little escape artist,” she wants to tell him but doesn’t dare, not with the baby monitor on the side table broadcasting every noise in the room. Instead she kisses him gently on the forehead and slips silently out of the room.

Selina doesn’t find any hidden safes. She settles for a few valuable trinkets—watches, cufflinks, some jewelry and spare cash she manages to root out…—and overall it’s still one of her best heists. 

She checks on the kid once more before she goes. He’s sleeping peacefully, still holding onto that stuffed cat. It’s just one of many in his bedroom. Wayne seems to spoil his son, based on the piles and piles of stuffed animals. Most of them look to be cats.

Selina decides that next time she finds a litter of kittens in an alley she’s going to drop them off here at Wayne Manor. It’ll be a good home. The kid will love them, and it’s not like Bruce Wayne is going to be able to say  _no_  to his baby boy.


End file.
